Bashing Your Head Against a Wall: When People Don’t Hear Your Goals and Dreams

 Banging Our Head Against a Wall: When People Don’t Hear Your Goals and Dreams 

By Uzma Ishaque

In life, we all seek support and encouragement to fuel our goals, but too often, we find ourselves sharing our dreams with people who simply don’t listen, don’t care, or even subtly discourage us. It’s as if we’re banging our heads against a wall, hoping to get through to them, yet we only feel drained and unheard. This experience is more common than you might think, and learning how to navigate it is crucial for our personal growth and well-being.

Recognizing When People Aren't Listening

Some signs are obvious: you’re sharing something important, and they’re scrolling on their phone or giving you half-hearted “mm-hmm” responses. Other signs can be more subtle—they might quickly change the topic, minimize your ambitions, or repeatedly bring up reasons why your goals are unrealistic or “too much.” Recognizing these behaviors is the first step in understanding that some people simply aren’t equipped to support you the way you need.

Understanding Why People Don’t Listen

1. Lack of Interest or Empathy: Not everyone is interested in your dreams, and that’s okay. Some may not understand or relate to your goals and might feel disconnected or even intimidated by them.

2. Personal Insecurities: People who are insecure or unhappy with their own lives may feel threatened by your ambitions. They may project their fears onto you, often unintentionally, by doubting or dismissing your plans.

3. Competing Agendas: Sometimes, people you thought would cheer you on have their own conflicting goals or values, leading them to be dismissive. They may subtly push you to conform to their own version of “success.”

4. Fear of Change: When we grow and push toward our dreams, it often forces others around us to look inwards, which can be uncomfortable. People close to us may feel left behind or fear that your growth will lead to them losing you, so they resist your ambitions.

The Emotional Impact of Feeling Unheard and Unsupported

Consistently feeling unheard can make you doubt your goals and your ability to achieve them. You might start wondering, “Am I overreaching?”, “Is my dream unrealistic?”, or “What if they’re right?” This lack of validation can hurt self-esteem and make you question your worth. Eventually, the mental and emotional toll can lead to burnout, leaving you exhausted from pushing forward without any support.

Protecting Your Goals

1. Evaluate Who You Share With: You don’t need to share your dreams with everyone—especially not with those who lack the mindset to understand them. Seek out people who inspire you and who understand the journey you’re on. Find communities, groups, or even mentors who can provide genuine support.

2. Be Selective in Receiving Feedback: Not all feedback is created equal. Pay close attention to who is giving you feedback. Consider how accomplished they are in their own lives, especially in areas that align with your goals. Constructive criticism from a mentor is far more valuable than skepticism from someone who has never walked a similar path.

3. Detach from Seeking Validation: As hard as it can be, work on building your self-worth and conviction independently of other people’s opinions. When you don’t rely on others to validate your dreams, you become stronger and more resilient.

4. Set Boundaries: If certain people consistently undermine your goals, it’s okay to limit conversations around your ambitions when you’re with them. Save your energy for those who uplift you. Setting boundaries isn’t about cutting people off; it’s about choosing where to invest your energy.

5. Surround Yourself with Like-Minded Individuals: Join groups, attend events, and connect with people who share similar ambitions and passions. Being around others who “get it” can be incredibly motivating and refreshing, reminding you that there are people who do understand and believe in your journey.

Uzma Ishaque’s Tip: Fuel Your Energy in Front of the Right People—Or Not at All

Trying to motivate yourself in front of people who aren’t receptive will only leave you feeling drained and undervalued. Instead, focus on working toward your goals in a quiet, steady way. Embrace a “silent enthusiast” approach, where your energy is directed toward progress rather than validation. By following this path, you’ll preserve your potential, avoid emotional exhaustion, and stay focused on what truly matters: achieving your goals.

Embracing Your Own Voice 

At the end of the day, the most important voice you need to listen to is your own. Believe in your own potential, trust your gut, and remember that no one knows your journey like you do. You owe it to yourself to keep pushing forward, even if that means occasionally walking that path alone.

No matter what others say, stay connected to your goals, stay motivated, and keep your inner flame burning. The journey may be challenging, but finding self-fulfillment and reaching your dreams is worth every step.